The SC President

from TIME

2008-12-07T04:53:00.000+08:00

What you see depends on who you are and where you stand.

2008-06-04T23:01:00.007+08:00

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED!

My new address is http://www.justintan.wordpress.com

to all alumni of batch 2008

2008-05-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

Pls. do not go directly to Ms. Lim for your copy of the Stephenian Voice.
Wait for further announcements from me.
This is not a joke.
Thank you very much!

making up for lost times...

2008-05-18T21:15:00.003+08:00

in my past few visits I’ve noticed alphabet soup in the blogs of my citizens and thought, “Hey! Why don’t I make one……?” And thus this entry…

1. College
I’ve said here before that I’ve confirmed my enrollment in DLSU. But what I’ve not told you is the reason why I confirmed in that school in Taft. It actually is an effect of my “over-commitment” and its by-products. The confirmation date for Architecture in UST was in the same week as the church’s DVBS where I served as a member of the Gen. Services Committee (I was in-charge of transportation among other things.) It was one hell of a week – waking up very early and going home weary. I was so caught up with the event that I forgot about my confirmation in the royal and pontifical university. While sorting my stuff at home, I came across a small white envelope in which my USTET results are enclosed. I opened it, obviously, and found out that the confirmation date had gone. I was crushed, not literally, to know that there’s no way for me to pursue my dream since childhood. The next day, I started looking for my DLSU acceptance letter to see if I’ve missed the confirmation date. I haven’t missed it just yet. The deadline was Tuesday the following week. I didn’t miss it! I was happy to know I still have a college to go to. I’m glad that I applied in this school as a fall back. It served its purpose. I really had no plans to study in this school unless I had no other choice mainly because of its big price tag. Funny how La Salle is a last resort….haha. So, as I’ve said in a previous entry, I submitted my confirmation requirements to DLSU. Weeks later, while in a mission trip (in the towns of Masinloc, Botolan, and San Felipe in) Zambales, I received a call from a teacher asking me about my college plans. I told him I’ll be taking up a degree in history first then another in business management later on. He criticized my decision, saying my degree won’t lead me anywhere else but law school and that I won’t be a good lawyer because lawyers are liars and I wasn’t because of my faith. He asked me why I didn’t just go after what I’ve always wanted (Architecture that is.) saying I would’ve been better in that field. I made up reasons. (See, I’m a good liar. Haha…) What he said struck me.

Why didn’t I go after that dream?

Well, you missed your chance.

Why did I resort to go with my fall back…..was there absolutely no way I could get into an architectural school?

Because you were forgetful and you were so stupid not to try asking for reconsideration…

That’s it!

What’s “it”?

Reconsideration. I’ll ask for reconsideration!

I think it’s too late.

No. nothing is ever too late.

I immediately asked this teacher of mine to help through the whole process. He called the university to know if they’re still accepting applicants. They’ve stopped weeks ago. He called to tell me about it and said he’ll see what else he can do. A few days after I got home, I went to UST to confirm my enrollment. How it happened won’t be discussed. Let’s just say, politics is a game you have to know how to play. Tuition is not cheap either. It’s 93,862 pesos a year. But in this case, it’s worth it….

2. Council
The day I withdrew my application from DLSU and submitted my requirements to UST, the college president of the College of Liberal Arts in DLSU offered to help me through enrollment and after that we could talk about the student council. It’s a great offer. An offer I never thought would never come to me. I’ll admit that there was a part of me that regrets pulling out my application in la salle but a greater part in me says I’ve made the right decision and there’s nothing to regret. I told him about my transfer and waited for his reply. In a few moments, I received this text message:

“Ahhh.J i see, I guess thats our loss, I think you would have been excellent in our student council. okok, good luck in ust.”

I’m just praying the same thing happens with UST.

3. Christianity
As I’ve said, I was in Zambales for a mission outreach. It is something I’ve always looked forward to each summer. It was a great recharge of faith and passion. When I’m on a mission trip, I feel like a different person – a better version of me actually. Each year we hold a VBS in our mission area. The kids there are so enthusiastic and full of energy. I was told by one parent that her kids were so ecstatic about it they woke up at 5 in the morning (we start at 9am) to get ready for VBS. Most of the mission team was still sleeping at that hour. In the last day, we had a simple closing ceremony where we awarded most attentive, most behaved and “most excellent” students (just so you know, I wasn’t the one who thought of the awards). I had an overwhelming experience after the closing ceremony the past year and even this time around. I was mobbed by dozens of kids who wanted to have a picture taken with me. Not bragging in any way. It’s just very inspiring that I had become someone they look up to; probably inspire them to serve the Lord in His church or to do good to others. I came to them to serve and bless them but instead I was blessed. God truly works in ways man can never fully understand. Throughout this trip, I’ve learned more about God – His awesome creation and His unfailing love. He has convicted me of my shortcomings and my sins. He has proven to me that His plans are always perfect. He has reminded me of my purpose as a Christian – that is to share the Gospel to those who have not heard.

4. Clinton
Clinton is the best presidential candidate the DNC can field against oldie John McCain. I true that Obama’s “inspiring” speeches has brought many people to vote in the democratic primaries across the US. But so has Clinton. Obama has been talking about ending the “business” in Washington and bringing about “change we can believe in.” But can we really believe in the change he’s talking about? I don’t think so. We don’t need a smooth-talker in the White House. We need someone who can really get the job done. As I’ve always said, would you rather vote for someone who has experience or vote for someone who has none? It’s always the one with the experience. In Michigan and florida, Clinton won but no delegates were pledged because the state DP has moved up their primaries to an earlier date. Michigan is not really the issue because only Clinton appeared in the ticket. But in Florida, where they weren’t allowed to campaign, she won handily. She also won big states like New York and California which are important states to win in the general elections in November. Just recently, Obama bagged a clear victory in North Carolina. Clinton, on the other hand, won a slim victory in Indiana and a strong win in West Virginia (a state won by democratic presidents since 1916 or so...) As of now, Obama leads in the number of delegates and popular vote. But of the states he has won, a number of these vote Red come November. So it’s really a “moo” win (got the “moo” idea from an episode of Friends). They say it is game over for the former First Lady who just loaned her campaign $6 Million. Let’s say it really is the end of her fight for the White House, will Obama be able to beat McCain? And if he does, will he be able to carry out well the great responsibility of being the president of a world superpower on the brink of losing its grip in power with the economic recession? I don’t think the Illinois senator can be the president he says he’ll be. But Hillary, I believe she can. She’ll bring about the change the Americans can truly believe in...

5. Citizens
Some of the Tourists will be granted citizenship soon…

...

2008-04-14T19:06:00.002+08:00

After moving hundreds of boxes and a lot of other seemingly useless things, I'm here again.

I've been deprived of the internet for the past few weeks. (not just that, also the TV, phone and a lot of other things) Moving is such a hassle. (sigh...) It's been a long time since I last posted something here. Haaaaaaay, It's good to be back.

I'd like to inform the good people who visit this blog that I have confirmed my application at DLSU last Tuesday. I didn't change my course (AB in History-BSC in Business Management).... I know History is an unusual course...but think of it this way. It's an excellent pre-law course (as the DLSU viewbook says), i'll get to learn a new language (i hope they offer french :p) and i'll get to better my debating skills in English and Filipino... :D For me, this is better than PolSci which many perceive to be the best pre-law course available... :D Not that I'm going into law or anything, I hate memorizing....but who knows what God wants for me.... :D I might continue my career as president... (i've had the title twice already...a third one with "of the Philippines" won't be bad...haha)

moving on....

Lately, I've been preparing my speech for the induction ceremony of Student Leaders. Here's part of it....just post your comments and/or suggestions on the cbox....you know where it is, right?

Here goes....

Student Leaders, Administrators, Faculty and Staff, ladies and gentlemen, a pleasant afternoon to all of you.

You are probably wondering about my preliminary greetings. It is not because I do not respect the administrators, faculty and staff; because I do respect most of them. I say “most” because I believe respect is not freely given. There is no such thing as respect because of tradition or culture. Remember, respect must be earned. I acknowledged the student leaders first because they are the most important part of this event, without them this ceremony would serve no purpose.

Unlike the past years, when incumbent presidents give their short exhortations and pass on the key, I shall deliver quite a long speech this afternoon. Something you are not quite expecting, but that’s the reality of life, things happen when you don’t expect them to. As Forrest Gump said, “Life is a like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

[body goes here]

One day, an old lady stood in the middle of a three-way intersection. She threw her umbrella up and when it fell, she’d pick it up and repeat the whole process. This continued until a young man came to her and asked, “Why are you throwing the umbrella up?” The old lady looked at him and replied, “I prayed to the Lord asking Him to point the umbrella to where he wanted me to go.” Puzzled, the man raised another question, ”Why do you keep doing it?” The old lady, who had probably broken the record for the most number of umbrella throwing, said, “It always points to the right…but I want to go to the left!” Familiar story, isn’t it? That is how we usually are. We ask God to lead the way but we don’t follow through. Why? Because we do not fully trust Him. We have not given up everything to him. Sometimes, it seems we have given him all, but we always hold back on some things –things which we have been so used to being with. Entrust your whole life to Jesus. He’s earned it on the cross when he died for you.

Now, I’d like you to close your eyes and clear your mind of everything. Now, repeat after me. I am worthless. I am filth. I have no strength. I am weak. I am lame. I am stupid. I am an ignorant. I am a fool. I am pure filth. I am nothing. Let it sink in. Truly feel each word that you have just said. And now say these words. God is my worth. He has cleansed me. He is my strength. He gives me wisdom. He has cleansed me of all things evil and unpleasant. God is my all in all. He is everything to me.

[Ending goes here]

'til next time.

2008-03-22T07:57:00.001+08:00

What's Your Dream Job?

My Result: President

Unlike some people, your dream job doesn't involve lying on the beach somewhere or being paid to take naps. No, you love to get things done and get them done right (or at least, your way). That's why your dream job is to be president! Can't you just picture it? Being in charge and making the really important decisions? Changing the world each and every day? And forget about flying coach — you've got Air Force One. We bet that sounds like heaven for a driven go-getter like you.

Of course you don't have to come in first at the polls to succeed. As long as you remember to keep asking questions and demanding change, your vision can still help make the world a better place.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=jobdreamogt&c=50652

i just want to end this and start over...

2008-03-20T09:32:00.008+08:00

People say a lot of things about high school.

That what happens in high school will mold you into who you'll become.

That what you achieve in high school will be a determinant of what you'll achieve in the real world.

That the friends you have in high school will be the only true friends you'll have.

That high school will be the time of knowing who you are and what you're worth.

I disagree.

High school, like childhood and adulthood, is just one chapter of our lives. It may be the time of great changes and shocking revelations but it is not necessarily the turning point of life. It doesn't define who you are, what you'll be and what you're worth. You'll be the judge of that.

In a few weeks, I'll be graduating along with (hopefully) 247 others. Each of us has his own story, his own adventure and his own experiences. Each one has gone through different things which they thought will define their future. But what you are now will not necessarily be what you'll be in a decade or two. It's all up to you. You decide on these things.

If you want to be molded by the things that happen to you, then it will.

If you think what you have achieved in this chapter will be your achievement limit, then it will be.

If you stopped searching for new friends or don't trust the friends you'll have after high school, then your high school buds would be the only friends you'll have.

If you believe that you worth in high school is forever, then it will be.

Things happen because you think they will. Why do you think horoscopes are (for some people) accurate? It's because they set their minds to thinking that it is true. If didn't think that way, then it won't happen.

You'll become what you think you'll become.

You can achieve if you think you can.

You can have true friends after high school if you think you'll have.

You are what you think you are.

You are worth what you think.

Life is all about mindset. It's about focusing your mind to thinking about something and going after what you thought. If one thinks positively, he will succeed. If he thinks otherwise, well, he'll rot in hell. It's like faith. We believe in what we cannot see because we set our minds on thinking that what we believe is true. That it exists.

I'll end with a few quotations (at least I think it's just a few)....

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."
--John Milton, English Poet (1606-1674)

"A positive thinker does not refuse to recognize the negative, he refuses to dwell on it. Positive thinking is a form of thought which habitually looks for the best results from the worst conditions."
--Norman Vincent Peale, American writer and minister (1898-1993)

"Over the winter glaciers I see the summer glow; And through the wild-piled snowdrift, the warm rosebuds below."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Essayist and poet (1803-1882)

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men--that is genius."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Essayist and poet (1803-1882)

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or believe you can't, you are right."
--Henry Ford, American car manufacturer (1863-1947)

"Believe you can, and you can."
--Norman Vincent Peale, American writer and minister (1898-1993)

"You get what you believe you'll get."
--Billy Connelly, Scottish Comedian (b. 1942)

"They are able who think they are able."
--Virgil, Roman poet (70-19BC)

"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
--Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect (1869-1959)

innovator

2008-02-16T20:24:00.001+08:00

I took a test called "Life Accelerator" and here's the result.....

The Innovator Profile

Innovators are artistic and like to apply their imagination to invent creative things or find unique ways of doing things. They see themselves as expressive, original and independent. Does this sound like you?

Activities and Interests

If you’re an Innovator, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:

* Performing: music, dance or drama
* Photography
* Visiting art museums
* Painting, sketching, design or creative writing
* Making homemade crafts or sewing
* Travel
* Learning foreign languages

Work Environments

Innovators like unstructured work situations and prefer to work in roles where creativity is valued.

As an Innovator, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:

* Express yourself creatively

* Think imaginatively or conceptually

* Produce or review artistic works

the win and the long wait....

2008-02-07T16:05:00.000+08:00

January 30, 2007....i joined my first interscholastic science competition....and won.

We brought home the bacon (Christian, I'm sorry) by winning 2nd place (or 1st runner up as the school wants to refer to it...) I was speechless when they announced us as the 2nd placers, while Kennard shouted like a baboon in excitement...haha (sorry newfound citizen)....after the awarding ceremony was over, we all rose for the singing of the GCHS school song....the singer was......well.....from the honors class and the newest citizen is obsessed with her (i think)....hahaha

anyways, there are a lot of things that happened after the singing...

really? like what?

hmm....i'd better introduce you first to the readers...

you better...

Everyone, this is the voice in my head....

great.....now go back to my question...

Oh ya, right....well we finished at around 3:45PM and Mr. Tancioco...

who?? Mr. Tancioco?? the teacher who always wears fit shirts which make him look fat...??

...i guess yeah....anyways he called the school to send a car to fetch us up... to make the long story short, we ended up waiting for 2 1/2 hours....i got home at 7PM...voice?

...

voice??

...zzz....

VOICE!!!

...zzz...

well i think he just got into a very deep sleep... i think i need one to go home to rest too... till next time........

using the word of others to communicate my thoughts and feelings

2008-01-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

"...With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls. [shows pictures of beautiful supermodels] But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this [picture of a mummy] Merry Christmas..."
--Mark (Love Actually - 2003)

"At some point in our lives, we will make decisions that will forever change how people see us and ultimately how we see ourselves. We will make decisions that may make us or break us."
--Anonymous

"You can never lose what really belongs to you, even if you throw it away."
--Anonymous

Accepted

2008-01-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

DLSU Freshman Applicant Inquiry Form

Case No. : 10693
Examinee Name: Tan, Justin David Natividad
School : St Stephen's High School, Manila
Degree : HIM-BMG
Status: Accepted (1st Choice) ONLY as a regular/paying student.

education and all that crap

2007-12-31T17:26:00.000+08:00

Here are some thoughts from the movie Accepted.

image created by The President

"The real purpose of education is to stimulate the creativity and passion of the student body..."
-Dr. J. Alexander, Member - Ohio State Board of Accreditors

"You don't need fancy, high-brow traditions or money to really learn, you just need people with the desire to better themsleves..."
-Bartelby "B" Gaines, Founder - South Harmon Institute of Technology (played by Justin Long)

"College is a service industry. You're not there to serve the teacher. You're not there to fit into their mold. The system should be working for you. Today's youth are raised to conform to one blueprint for success: do well in high school, get into a good college and land a lucrative job-cut and dry."
- Dean Lewis, South Harmon Institute of Technology (played by Lewis Black)

"Rejection. That's what makes a college great. The exclusivity of any university is judged primarily by the amount of students it rejects."
- Dean Van Horne, Harmon College (played by Anthony Heald)

"Skip a step or miss a beat and you should call it quits, because your life is destined for failure. This clearly is not true and time has shown us that there are many roads to success. I was a government major in college because that's what was given to me. Nobody said, 'what do you wanna do?'"
- Tom Shadyac, producer

"What is learning? It's paying attention. It's opening yourself up to this great big ball of shit that we call life."
- Dean Lewis, South Harmon Institute of Technology (played by Lewis Black)

"Clearly, acceptance must be, first and foremost, acceptance of one's self. After that, it shouldn't matter if who you are-or what you want to be-doesn't conform to the expectations of society or the institutions that govern college education."
- Steve Pink, director

"My feeling is that once you get to college, you can listen to your parents as advisors-to a point-but what you hear is much like the Charlie Brown 'wa-wa-wa-wa-wa' sound. This is the time that parents should be a background. It's your time of self-discovery."
- Lewis Black

"The very simple message of acceptance is addressing what it means to accept others and accept yourself. This is not just another teen comedy. It has a heart, and it's got something to say."
- Justin Long

"I hope that people will identify most with the idea in this film that you can actually be successful by making college fit your needs rather than the other way around."
- Steve Pink, director

"Acceptance is really about the triumph of underdogs. This story has that optimism. It's a concept comedy that speaks to the human condition."
- Michael Bostick, producer

"There are plenty of successful people who didn't go to college. Albert Einstein, Pocahontas never went to college. Harriet Beecher Stowe... Both Lewis and Clark, Suzanne Somers, Bono..."
- Bartelby "B" Gaines, Founder - South Harmon Institute of Technology (played by Justin Long)

music is the language of the soul...

2007-12-26T06:20:00.000+08:00

Music plays an important role in my life. So here's another song I found while surfing the net...I hope you guys like it, because I did.

"Greatest Story Ever Told" by Oliver James

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are

If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you
Tonight

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine

It's the way we touch, it soothes me
It's the way we'll always be
Your kiss, your pretty smile
You know I'd die for
Oh baby, you're all i need

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you
Just how much i really need you
Did I tell you that I love you
Tonight
Tonight

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you
Just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight

I've done 47 of the 144 stupid things on this list

2007-12-22T06:19:00.000+08:00

Level 1
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
() drank alcohol
SO FAR: 0

Level 2
(x) in/been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
() been in a fist fight
SO FAR: 1

Level 3
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date
SO FAR: 3

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
() skipped school
( ) slept (not sex) with a co-worker
( ) seen someone/something die
SO FAR: 4

Level 5
(x) had/have a crush or liked on one of ur friends
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
() been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking
SO FAR: 5

Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been mosh pitting
SO FAR: 6

Level 7
() been in an abusive relationship
() taken pain killers
(x) love/loved someone who you cant have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
SO FAR: 8

Level 8
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
() gone puddle jumping
() played dress up
SO FAR: 10

level 9
() jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledging
() cheated while playing a game.
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
SO FAR: 12

Level 10
() used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake
so far: 14

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a deer
SO FAR: 17

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
( ) had detention :p
() been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident
SO FAR: 18

Level 13
( ) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
() danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 20

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
() witnessed a crime
() pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
() been obsessed with post-it notes
SO FAR: 22

Level 15
() squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
() swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying
SO FAR: 24

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
() played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
SO FAR: 28

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
() made prank phone calls
() laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain
SO FAR: 29

Level 18
() written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
() watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
SO FAR: 30

Level 19
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
() gone rollerskating/blading
() had a wish come true
SO FAR: 30

Level 20
() worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis/dick"
( ) swam with dolphins
SO FAR: 31

Level 22
() got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
() kissed a fish
() worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top
SO FAR: 32

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
() talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night
SO FAR: 34

Level 24
() picked and ate an apple right off the tree
() climbed a tree
() had/been in a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
SO FAR: 35

Level 25
() believe in ghosts
() have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone to jail
SO FAR: 35

Level 26
(x) played chicken
() been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
() been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused
SO FAR: 37

Level 27
() caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
() caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
() cried so hard you laughed
SO FAR: 38

Level 28
( ) mooned/flashed someone
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
() slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
SO FAR: 41

Level 30
(x) Rode on a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
(x) had a cavity
() Black-mailed someone
(x) been black mailed
SO FAR: 44

Level 31
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat . .
(x) bitten someone
() licked someone

TOTAL: 47

-o-

2007-12-22T06:03:00.000+08:00

here's a song entitled "Face Down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus...this is for...(never mind...)

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
Say your right again
Heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
Its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

How to have an xtraordinary Christmas?

2007-12-11T17:04:00.000+08:00

St. Stephen's High School
Committee on Student Activities

present

XC
Xtraordinary Christmas
SSHS 90th Anniversary School Fair

December 14, 2007 10:00AM - 5:30PM
December 15, 2007 8:00AM - 5:30PM

St. Stephen's High School
1267 G. Masangkay Street, Sta. Cruz, Manila

Sponsored by:

For inquiries, please call Justin Tan at 09178940394 or 09223786023

it's almost 3 in the morning

2007-11-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

time started: 2:47AM

i don't really know why i'm entering a blog at this time of the day...i don't feel sleepy maybe that's because of the big glass of coffee i had just an hour ago...ithis computer has been on for 3 days straight...working on a lot of different things...i'm chatting with a friend......about stuff...from the class trip to Batangas today (which i will not be joining due to some unfinished business) to the "bomb" (as how he wants to refer to it) to friends...how one of our good friends is acting kinda weird getting obsessed with the "Detective Conan" kind of thing......and we get to talking about a girl who's kinda out of my league if you know what i mean....to the "science of affection" (as i would like to refr to it).........well i'm going back to the chatroom...there's much more to be talked about and it's almost 3 in the morning...

time ended: 2:58AM

2007-11-01T15:46:00.001+08:00

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

on a lot of things (from death to life's choices)

2007-10-31T17:32:00.000+08:00

october 29 was barangay and SK election day...but for me it was more than that. no that i was a candidate or anything but because it was a day for me to unwind with my family in nature's beauty. we set out after they've voted at the polling station. i won't be sharing a minute-by-minute story on that trip to Lucban and Lucena (both in Quezon Province) because i don't feel like it...maybe next time. anyway, the pictures will be here soon so just wait and see.

The trip wasn't just for us to go sightseeing and stuff....we went there to remember our grandparents during this season. I never really got to know my grandpa since he died 5 years before i was born....but i know that he had been a great father to my dad and his siblings. i did get to spend some time with my grandma, i remember us going to Lucena to see her and all that....after she died on december 1, 1996, we started having a family reunion during the holidays spending 2 to 3 days with uncles, aunts and cousins and remembering our grandparents. It was not only our grandparents who we visited but also my aunt shirley....i don't recall much about her....i don't even know how she died.

well, so much about that, as my computer teacher would say, it's a few days before school starts again. i really don't want to go back to school yet. seeing that it brings me problems and all.....it sometimes frightens me when i think about how fast nov. 5 is approaching.....i don't know if leaving (better word for "quitting") the S as i referred to it before was the best decision i've ever made but it seemed right....i mean...passion is important in the things that we do...that's why i've been in the CSA for four years...if i didn't have passion for it then i would have left it years ago. i gave it another try to see if what they say (that being a member is more fun) is true....but whenever i'm there in the meetings....it's like something tells me that i'm in the wrong place....i thought about it for quite some time...asked people about it and even posted a question on Yahoo! Answers....after some time of deep thinking, i came to realize one thing even clearer. I was a person fighting for liberty, for freedom to do things i want to do where and when i want to do it. i was a person who hated being under someone else who just ordered me to do things i really don't want to do. and after much thought and consideration, i chose the lesser evil as my friend would refer to it. i will be taking up the C not because i wanted it better than the S or for that matter wanted it at all.....i will be attending it because it is a requirement. as i have said, i hate being ordered to do things that i don't want to do.....

but even if i'm in the C starting this monday, i will continue to fight the wrong things in the structure, the organization, the principles, the handouts, the lectures, the rules and everything else in the C. i have the right to say what i want when i want wherever i want....

because it has always been done that way

2007-10-22T13:23:00.000+08:00

In the begining there were two monkeys, a ladder and the bananas which, to save typing, we will call the "bait". One monkey would climb the ladder, grab the bait, and an alarm would go off and soak the monkeys with water. The other monkey would climb the ladder, grab the bait and the same result. An alarm, water all over them. Eventually they decided that grabbing the bait was a bad idea..... then they introduced a new monkey. The new monkey climbed the ladder and went to grab the bait and the other two "vet" monkeys pulled him down and gave him a beating. Heck they didnt feel like having the alarm go off or feel like getting wet. Well eventually they introduced yet another monkey and the other three gave that new one a beating the first time that new monkey went for the bait. Then they began to pull one older monkey out when they introduced a new monkey. This continued until none of the original monkeys who actually got wet were still there. Yet every time a new monkey would climb the ladder that new monkey got a beating and yet none of them really understood why. None of them had ever suffered the alarm nor had gotten wet. The moral of the story.........? Just because something has been in practice for so dang long doesnt mean that it has to continue. Because the fact is......... they (observationists) turned off the alarm and the water supply long long before the last observation (after the third monkey). All those monkeys had to do was take a banana and they would have realised that. Interesting isnt it? Sort of like working at a place where everyone will answer "because it has always been done that way".

What has helped me go on...

2007-10-17T17:37:00.000+08:00

In Christ alone my hope is found;He is my light, my strength, my song;This cornerstone, this solid ground,Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.What heights of love, what depths of peace,When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!My comforter, my all in all—Here in the love of Christ I stand.In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,Fullness of God in helpless babe!This gift of love and righteousness,Scorned by the ones He came to save.Till on that cross as Jesus died,The wrath of God was satisfied;For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—Here in the death of Christ I live.There in the ground His body lay,Light of the world by darkness slain;Then bursting forth in glorious day,Up from the grave He rose again!And as He stands in victory,Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;For I am His and He is mine—Bought with the precious blood of Christ.No guilt in life, no fear in death—This is the pow'r of Christ in me;From life's first cry to final breath,Jesus commands my destiny.No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,Can ever pluck me from His hand;Till He returns or calls me home—Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

25%

2007-10-17T17:31:00.000+08:00

that's how shy i am...........25%

[] You don't like public speaking.
[x] You find it hard to talk to
strangers.
[] You don't like to look people in
the eye.
[] Being introduced to new people makes
you nervous.
[] You hate to go shopping alone.

TOTAL: 1

[] When you're in a group of people,
it's difficult to think of what to say
[]You have a lot of trouble talking
to the opposite sex
[] You hate to be teased
[x] You hate answering the door

TOTAL: 2

[] You don't like to ask people for
help.
[] You can't stand people watching
you.
[]One on one conversations make you
nervous.
[] You hate to read out loud.
[] You don't like answering questions.

TOTAL: 2

[] You dread ordering food at
restaurants.
[x] You are uncomfortable at parties,
unless you know everyone well
[] You don't like to talk, because
you're afraid of being embarrassed by
what you say.
[x] You wish you were more outgoing.
[] You hate being in the center of
any room

TOTAL: 4

[] You don't know how to react to
compliments.
[x] You prefer reading, writing, or
listening to music than being around
too many people.
[] You blush easily.
[] You don't like singing in front of
a lot of people.

TOTAL: 5

Times it by 5

LSS...they're good songs anyway

2007-10-03T18:00:00.000+08:00

You Give Me Something by James Morrison
You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,

For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,

I never thought that I'd love someone,
That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
Know my heart,
know my heart,
know my heart

One Last Chance by James Morrison
In my life I don't mean much to anyone
I've lost my way can't go back anymore
Once I had everything now it's gone
Don't tell me again coz I've heard it all before

Some people say that i'm not worth it
I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess I'll give it a try

I've got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never and I'll try to remember who i used to be
I've got one last chance to get myself together

The time has come for me to change again
I can't carry on like this, I will lose my friends - don't say that you have given up on me.
Just give me the time and space to heal my head

I don't wanna be misunderstood
I've got to take this chance and make it into something good

Right Here Waiting by Clay Aiken
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

i misbehave 60% in school....and i got an A for conduct

2007-09-18T16:50:00.000+08:00

[ ] Gotten detention.
[x] Gotten your phone taken away.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[x] Chewed candy during class.
Total: 2
[x] Been late to a class(s)more then 10 times
[x] Didn't do homework over 5 times.
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[ ] Missed school cause you felt like it
[x] Skipped class at least 3 times.
[ ] Laughed so hard you got kicked out of class.
Total so far: 5
[x] Got your mom/dad etc. to pick you up from school.
[x] Text people during school. (who doesn't?)
[x] Passed notes.
[ ] Threw stuff across the room.
[x] Laughed at the teacher
Total so far: 9
[x] Went on myspace, friendster, xanga, etc. on the computer at school.
[x] Took pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during school hours.
[x] Listened to an ipod/cd player/mp3 during school
Total so far: 13
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[ ] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class test
[x] Ate food during class.
Total so far: 16
[ ] Gotten a call home
[ ] Couldn't go on a field trip cause you behaved badly
[x] Didn't take your stuff to school (kapag may exemption...)
[ ] Gotten a detention and didnt go
[ ] Stuck your middle finger at a teacher
[ ] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear
Total so far: 17
[x] Slept in class
[ ] Threw paper at the teacher
[x] Copied homework (this is a free country! lol)
[ ] Felt hungry during class and left to eat
[ ] Snored in class
[x] Talked back to a teacher
TOTAL: 20

3x your total

Repost this as "i misbehave % in school"

prayer answered?

2007-09-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

i attended a seminar in the church this afternoon. it was a 3-hour sermon-only seminar. i thought of leaving after having lunch...you know like "eat and run"...haha...but for some reason i stayed. then the preaching started....after about half an hour of listening to something i don't really want to listen to i thought of leaving the hall and just stay outside and listen to some tunes. but just as i was gonna get up the speaker started talking about decision making.....and what do you think i did?? very obvious huh? well so things got very interesting now. it's like the whole world's turned around....he said that when problems and difficulties come our way, we have to face it. if we don't, and instead we make excuses or run away, we are losers...

i really don't know if that is the answer to my questions. to be honest i don't like it. it seems to be the right thing to do but i don't really want to do it. i don't want to face it. i don't want any difficulties in life. i don't want to go through hardship.

then i start hearing him say that difficulties will always be present. that there is no ideal place in this world....

wait a minute....i thought...is this God talking to me? is he using this guy from L.A. to talk to me? i don't know. but it really felt like it. the elder actually called that stage in life when we face difficulties the "STORMING STAGE". what a name! anyway, i don't really know if it is God talking to me and answering my prayers...and i want to be sure before accepting it as an answer.

to the 10-wheeler truck......

2007-09-16T16:18:00.000+08:00

Just Once
James Ingram

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we got going

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...

The IQ Test

2007-09-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

You're a Visual Mathematician!

The Classic IQ Test

Brought to you by Tickle

when i'm not doing what i should be doing

2007-09-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

i really shouldn't be typing an entry now, with math homework at hand. but i just felt like visiting my blog tonight.

i said something about putting in an entry concerning the Camp Math party last Saturday...well, this isn't the one. you'll have to wait some more.

i really should be doing my homework now or i could lie down, watch my fave comedy series, Friends, and eventually fall into "a deep sleep"...but no, i'm spending precious time here typing.

i've been very confused lately about life - what to do, where i'm heading, and all that stuff. Re-evaluating my decisions in life and trying to reflect on what i've done. you know.....

i suddenly felt tired, like i was carrying a heavy burden on my back and dragging a big metal ball tied to my legs. have i put myself into something where i'm a prisoner? were all my decisions the right ones or did i just choose the lesser evil? did i seek advice from the right people? is this part of the Lord's good, pleasing and perfect plan? did i set my priorities right? i have a lot more questions but.........never mind.

i really don't know what i want. you know i thought i had everything planned, everything under my control. i'll go through the year happily, have a good and supportive team in the CSA, have good grades as a result of new study methods, attend CAT, get an architecture degree from a good university, go abroad designing buildings, skyscapers, etc.

but all this planning...this blueprint i have made for the next 15 or so years of my life...all of it is going gone, gone, gone (whoa...) i don't really think i have a good and supportive team in the CSA. I'm not doing very well in my academics. (failing for the first time in a chinese subject) my dream of becoming an architect hangs in the balance. but you know what...

i don't really stress the "cooperativeness" of my officers much, nor do i feel very awful when i see 74 or 72 in my test paper. my dreams put in a balance is not really that important to me now. it's something i've put myself into that bothers me a lot. i'll simply call it "S". when i thought of joining the S, i sought the advice of a few friends (that's what i thought) a majority told me to continue with the S. not contented, i met with my counselor to talk about it. all she said was that i should take in all the consequences that my decision brings. and so i joined the S. this happened before the bad team performance in the CSA, poor grades and my dreams hanging in the balance. and so far, none of my plans are going smoothly...actually none are going at all. i've been running away from the S for the past quarter and maybe for the rest of the year. i don't know if this decision was right. what i know is that i've made a mistake concerning this before. and i don't want to commit another one now. i don't know what the folks at the S think of me, how they feel. What i know is that in making this decision, i failed to seek God's advice. i became impatient once more that i did not wait for his reply. i don't know whether this is part of His good, pleasing and perfect will. but what i do know is that i've been running away from the S like a mouse being chased by a hungry smelly cat. i've been looking for reasons and alibis just to not attend the S. whether or not i'm qutting again or whatever, i don't know. i need help. i need help from those who genuinely cares and not out of pity or responsibility.

laspagin mo beybeh...

2007-08-26T15:13:00.000+08:00

drops of rain were fallin' on my head as i raced through the well-paved streets of the Ateneo . through pocket gardens and dark hallways, we moved from one hall to another in search for our teammates.

We were on a race, and so were they. It has been roughly an hour since we arrived at Escaler Hall, but until now we were still the wanderers in the campus of this Jesuit institution. We sat on a huge rock at the Zen Garden thinking about what we've been through. If we were a team, we would've finished the race earlier than the other 15 teams. A team arrived at the "building-locked" garden; and i was planning on joining their team to get myself on the race. One of our "illegitimate team's" members thought it was a good idea. So we joined their team. We, me and my teammate, along with our new team, went on to the next station. Having failed to do the assigned task, we left our teammate in exchange for two fake marbles.

As the rain continued to fall on what seemed to be a perfectly mowed lawn, we went to the tetrahedral Church of the Gesu. As ironic as it may seem, the task was to gamble in front of the modernly designed church. Failing once more to succeed, i volunteered to stay in the station to save two "pseudo-marbles". It had been three-quarters of an hour, but no team came back to redeem any of the "inmates". Finally, an hour later, a team came to redeem the self-proclaimed dealer. And then, there were three of us left - one having been there since the start of the race. While being a "prisoner-of-race", I got the chance to talk with one of the executives of the reputable Ateneo Mathematics Society (who turns out to be a P.Sci. graduate who was not allowed by her activist parents to study at UP because they feared she would be an activist too.) She shared a few things about her and her only organization. Why she joined only one organization, how the AMS functions, some Camp Math history, and a lot of other stuff. (now that's few! haha) In a while (as in 30 minutes), the race came to an end, and i being the only inmate left in the gambling station
was escorted by my two jail wardens back to the Escaler Hall.

31 minutes and 26 seconds later, we were brought to the Manuel V. Pangilinan Center for Student Leadership (more or less 150 steps away) for the final activity - the PARTY! (I'll talk more about the party in another entry...so watch out for it! haha) I won a bar of chocolate for participating in the recreational math activity 2 weeks ago.

Now, you may be wondering what the title has to do with what i said in the last 3 paragraphs. Well, the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This is all about the letter addressed to someone named Kennard YU in SSHS. (it actually is for kennard uy 'coz he's the only one named Kennard in camp)

Here's what's written in the letter by Kitty Cat (as i remeber it):

Ang buwan ay nagiging araw at ang araw ay nagiging buwan sa tuwing tayo'y magkasama.
Nagiinit ang aking katawan (Tss....) sa bawat paghawak mo sa akin laspagin mo beybeh...

~THE END~

P.S. If anyone remembers the complete message or any part that is erroneous or any part that i forgot, pls. send it to justin_3292@yahoo.com.

Staring blankly into nothingness

2007-08-20T07:00:00.000+08:00

Life is like an elevator. Every time you push a button, you'll either go up or down. Pushing a higher number doesn't always mean you'll go up. Neither does pushing a lower number. But in every button you push and every time the doors will open, you're sure to see a different view.

After 3 cups of coffee...

2007-08-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

Life is like a coffee shop. There are a lot of choices.

Frap or espresso?
Paper cup or 'for here' mug?
cake or doughnut?
salad or sandwich?

And in every choice you make, you have to pay for it. Paying more doesn't mean you'll have a sweeter cup of coffee. Having it venti won't help either. So, with every cup you'll have, don't crave for the best in the house just because the board says so, rather have the one that will fill you to your heart's content.

In life, there are no cancellation of orders, everything is once in a lifetime. So, live a venti life and create the experience...

2007-07-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

Looking back in the previous pages,
I realize what might have been,
I gazed at the empty spaces,
Perhaps it can make me see.

I can still see her smiling eyes,
I can still hear her speaking smile,
The euphony her silence creates,
Her angelic voice which resonates.

She was my love, and she still is.
I still miss her touch.
I still feel her lips.
Her laughter, her tears,
Her confidence, her fears...

escape from the real world

2007-04-29T14:33:00.000+08:00

three minutes past two o' clock.
a sunny tuesday.
the wind brushing through my hair and the sun shining on my face.
i was on the highest point of paradise rising less than a hundred steps above ground.
by my side were the pristine waters, tall trees, and beautiful flowers.

what a great feeling it is to be able to get away - even for a short while - from the the raging seas and thunder storms of our lives. i am lost for words in defining a carefree life - free from responsibilities, conflicts and quarrels.

I had a rough time this April - having to arrange for the SC Center renovation, formulate a budget proposal, teach songs to little and not-so-little kids, clean-up the house storage room, prepare my proposal for different projects and a lot of other things which needed to be done. And then there was camp. A time when i get to rest physically. A time to get away from the annoying noise that the world rewards me each day.

but camp wasn't what i expected it to be - just physical rest plus a little spiritual recharge.

Camp was more of a spiritual refresh. It was a time when Dad took away all that would distract me from this re-orientation i will be having - my new peer group, responsibilities, problems, and everything else that bothers me. It was not the usual loving and merciful Dad i've seen before. It's the jealous Dad i've read about several times yet failed to experience. I was spending too much time with earthly things that i have lost the true essence of Christianity.

i had no one to talk to the first few days. But as i spent time with Dad, He provided me with a friend to talk to about my problems. then he provided a few more, with whom i laughed with.
I thanked Him for giving these wonderful people to me in those days of loneliness.

Yet some problems never left me. I never lost hope that Dad would help me. My counselor told me once that nothing happens by accident - that everything has a purpose. And true enough, it did. In the final night of paradise, I bumped into a long time co-worker and groupmate. We talked about our lives and how we were doing. We talked about friends and how we were both feeling outcast!

True, I can never say that i am a loner because a lot of other dudes out there are having a lot harder time than i am. And maybe some would say that it is impossible for me, the student body president, to be considered a loner. I am not a loner. I am a person in search for my Dad's chosen people to comprise my circle of friends. I am a "waiter" (a person who waits for something).

Til then, i will be still and serve my Dad - my Father, Friend, Savior, and God.

***Actually, i learned to appreciate peeing....haha....tnx to a counselor

the fulfillment of dreams, understanding of truths in life and the song with double meaning

2007-03-29T17:43:00.000+08:00

i had not been here for a long time...the reason behind this is that i had been too much involved with the "wild" that i forgot to get away from it...and now it's time for me to "report"...:-)

firstly, i was elected CSA president...haha...and we had gone through the first project successfully...thanks to each officer's help (and "my unmatched ingenuity" and " superb leadership skills" of course...haha just kidding)

a lot of other things happened to me other than winning the student council elections...and here are SOME of them

well, as they say, no secret can be kept forever. My experience says just that... i revealed a secret which i had kept for the longest time in my life - the women whom i admire for their beauty, intelligence, sense of humor and physique. Learning to entrust my secrets to people is something hard for me to do after a very "mournful" experience in the past (which would be best if not talked about anymore). But trusting someone makes me feel more comfortable in my daily living....it feels like a pile of heavy load had been taken away....but even though it feels good to be able to trust people...Trust is not something you give away or pick up from the floor.....TRUST is one of the oldest brands of condoms and they have a family planning program too! just kidding :-) Trust is something one earns from someone...and believe me it's hard to trust people....

moving on with my "story-telling" session with you... I invited someone to go with me to the prom....an old "friend" whom i miss so much...but as time passed the feelings i had for her when i asked her faded away...(which of course means I met someone new) And a few days before this "session" that I'm having with you...she asked me if she's still going with me....I stopped and thought about it for a whole night!and then i decided not to go with her anymore....but there's a little big problem...how was i to tell her that? it took me 2 days to finally formulate a rather long message for her...and with that message i was successful...

And just this afternoon, i got home from vacation with a few friends in Isabela. we had so much fun singing-along, watching DVDs, playing CS and wrestling, singing our theme song (sayang sayang sayang ang peyk peyk mo...haha) and a lot of other things...We went inside 4 caves in Quirino Province which had magnificent rock formations and some even had their own stories/legends. We ate sumptuous meals prepared for us by our hosts. We even had a pillow fight in the last night of our stay! I will never forget the times we had, the bonding, the laughter and fun we had there in Isabela...for these memories are too precious to throw away...

After all these things...i realized something. That being with the "wild" was fun. being with them is something which i can never do again ever in my life. Being with the "wild" is fun, satisfying and enjoying......but not all the time...:-)

One down.........a few more to go

2007-02-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

Here's a letter I recieved from a great leader a few years ago.

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Justin,

From day 1, you're already one of the persons I saw potential in. You will do great if you put your heart into what you do. God Bless! Love You!

-Johann Dy-

P.S. I want you to be the CSA President after 3 years.

Feb. 25, 2005

Congratulations!

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Well, the letter has been kept since it was given to me. I never threw it away. Why? It meant a lot to me. It has motivated me to go on serving in the CSA. It encouraged me to dedicate my time to this service to God, school and students.

Once again, amidst trials and difficulties, I have successfully won in the CSA election. But, yet another goal has to be met - CSA President. Yes, there are others who also desire to get this position. But, i believe i have proven myself worthy for that position - probably even more than the others. I have devoted my time to the work of the CSA, being involved in all projects as much as possible.

I hope and pray that the Lord will grant this to me. For there are more goals to be reached, a fair revenue of P400,000.00, 2 concerts, a musical play, a prestigious award, and a lot more.

Dumbness and Elections

2007-01-27T17:06:00.000+08:00

"ang tatanda niyo na hindi pa rin kayo marunong pumila!"

If you joined any event during the sports fest yesterday, then i bet you know about that line.

I started the day well, had one of the best night's rests of my life, woke up considerably early and other good things. But when we were about to start the opening ceremony of the CSA's 2nd major project, it was all gone - the goodness of the day. We had the players down at the quadrangle. I went there to ask them to make straight lines so that the ceremony would be very orderly. but these people who were old enough to know how to line up properly, acted like they didn't know how. I asked them again and again but they still had those snake-like lines. I blew my whistle more than twice and yelled at them - reiterating my previous request. I went around to check but still some didn't do as i asked them to. It was one simple request yet they were too dumb to comprehend.

After that, I went to the gymnasium to know how things are going there. Even before i came to school, i had already planned to request them to follow simple rules which have been requested to them by the administrators, teachers, etc. I got the mic and talked there about the unnecessary shouting, noise, CLAPPING, and other stuff. After speaking, some rude students were clapping their hands. tila nang aasar. I immediately went back to the mic and said, " I don't think that was necessary either. please... i didn't ask for the clapping now..." (not Really sure about the words but more or less that's it.)

During the acknowledgements, a few sophies were already leaving. My co-chairman was looking around with a face which says "why are the students leaving??" We asked her to stop and ask them to come back. And she did just that. I grabbed the mic from the MC and said " Stephenians, let us not be rude. Let us not be rude..." Well they obediently went back.....

I know that some were offended by what i have done during the sports fest. I am sorry for those things. I am being bothered by the big possibility that it will affect my re-election to another term in the CSA office. (with my dream/desire to become next school year's....(ehem!)...) I hope this does not happen. I hope and pray that what happened will not affect the elections.

I will be running for office again. please vote for me!

Justin Tan for CSA Officer...

Obviously

2007-01-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

"'coz obviously she's out of my league...

I'm wasting my time 'coz she'll never be mine...

and I know I never will be good enough for her...

never will be good enough for her...

--> from the song "Obviously" by McFly

why

2007-01-17T19:06:00.000+08:00

I don't know why people just want to know about it. It's not that big of a deal, is it? I am a normal person living among a not so normal crowd. Is it unusual for me to have that?

You might be wondering what i'm talking about. Well, maybe i need to tell you the story then...

it was a sunny morning. i was walking down the hallway out of the central office. i was holding 25 pesos, enough for one song request and a dedication. i walked to the DJ booth and got me a piece of paper. i asked the person by the sound controls if the song "I couldn't ask for more" by Edwin McCain was in their computer. Unfortunately, the song wasn't there. He then suggested the song "I'll be" by the same singer. I stood there and thought about it for around 5 seconds - trying to remember its lyrics. Then, i agreed. The song was dedicated to "the girl of my dreams". Well, it's not the first time i dedicated a song to someone. Though it's the first time to an individual. but still, can't I (a truly dedicated student leader....i will be running again this February.....Vote for me.....haha) dedicate a song without people being curious about who the person is? Turd! well, the song was played instantly (one of the many perks of being in authority....haha...) then after everything was read..... the person who dedicated the song and to whom it's dedicated to and the message............ people came asking me who it is. I totlly didn't expect that. I thought it was not a big deal. It's just a song.....and a message......and a person who is not expected to dedicate a song but did..... well, it's perfectly normal. but again why do people want to know about it?

I never told anyone about it. nobody knows about it except for me and God. the girl to whom the song is dedicated to doesn't know that it is dedicated to her. There might be people who would claim that she is the "girl of my dreams"........but i know that she (the true girl) will never ever make such a claim.

P.S. To everyone who is curious to know who she is, I will never tell!

Regrets, Funerals and the 2 EK's in our lives

2006-12-27T13:08:00.000+08:00

Regrets come in all sizes. We may regret having done something in the past which affected our lives greatly. There are times in our lives when we regret loving someone who, in truth, is not worthy of the love we give. Sometimes we regret choosing something which we think is important over something which is really important. But the worst is when we regret not having done something in our lives - something we can never do ever again.

It was an extra-ordinary Monday. I had tons of messages in my mobile phone that morning. People were singing and greeting each other. It was Christmas - finally. As greetings in short messages filled the air, I was dressing up for yet another reunion of my dad's family. It was special because we only meet once or twice a year. I sat down on my bed...first, enjoying its softness and the comfort i get. Then, thinking if i really wanted to see them. Thanks to my sister, I had that mentality that they were people wearing masks - hiding their true identity.

As much as i didn't want to lie, I did. It was not actually a reunion. It was the "christening" of my youngest cousin. Well, after the sermon, dedication and "fattening", we left. In the car, my sister asked us if we wanted to spend the day with our cousins tomorrow in a theme park. How great is this? My sister, who actually hates spending time with our cousins, is actually suggesting us to support her idea of a post-Christmas bonding. I thought about it and remembered that I had to attend my teacher's necrological service. When we got home, I went to my room to think and make a decision. Which was more important, my teacher's funeral or a time with my own flesh and blood? I didn't want to regret not making the right decision. I didn't want to regret not having done this. Just like everything else, it is a once in a lifetime chance. I thought about the "my cousins-are-plastics" mentality I had and asked myself if i really wanted to spend a whole day with them. I, trying to see this in my own light, decided to go. So did my brother who enjoyed the company of our male cousins. I didn't want to regret not going to this occasion. I believe it will affect my whole life. The next day, we left for Santa Rosa to have the time of our lives.

It was the best thing we have done together in all our lives. The mentality, as we enjoyed each other's company, faded away. They're not that way. There may be more than a million "plastics" out there. But one thing is clear, we are not one of them. And as we go in our lives, we will never forget the "go-cart", Anchors Away and the pictures - both funny and serious - we had that day. But most of all, we will never forget the bonding we had - the time we spent with each other - and how this will affect all our lives. I will cherish this experience until the end of my life in the "Eternal Kingdom".

*If you're wondering what the second EK is, well, it is Enchanted Kingdom, the name of the theme park.

the Chair, the Quadrangle and the Sky

2006-12-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

the door opened and i went in to get a chair. i dragged it out and sat. in front of me were people going about their business - training, jogging, jumping, dancing, playing. i sat still... wondering what i have done in my life for the past years. did i change? was that change for better or worse? what was i doing to those precious moments in my high school life? did i even know what i have done? or do i know what i really want to do? worst......did i know myself at all?

i was thinking deep into myself...down to the nerves and the tiniest cells in my supposedly "holy and sacred" body. thinking about myself...trying to answer the pile of questions in my head. "Justin!" someone yelled... then i realized something... i was silenced...not because of the person who yelled my name... but because i realized something. then it hit me... a bag of cloth and crumpled paper that is. i was holding on to something... but what is it that I'm holding on to? is it tangible? is it real? or is it just one of my imaginations that will never come true?

after a few laughs and pats on the back, my friend left. all alone now, sitting in front of an empty quadrangle. the wind was cool... i went back in to search the filing cabinets of my human brain...looking for an answer to my question - something i didn't even know... looking up to the dark empty sky, i realized how my life has been. It has been like the quadrangle in front of me, the sky way up high.

but what was i holding on to? i don't know. i stood up and dragged the chair back in. in the process, i can't pull the chair, it was being stopped by a block. i lifted it up and brought it in. i got my bag and went out to lock the door of my hiding place. i put the key in and realized, i was like the chair. being pulled to somewhere else yet because something else was stopping it - holding it back- couldn't.